Author Topic: 1 of 4 young men now believe asking a woman out for a drink is sexual harassment  (Read 1666 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Androslav

  • Bill Walton
  • *
  • Posts: 1483
  • Tommy Points: 263
What about asking to go and eat something? :D
"The joy of the balling under the rims."

Offline Beat LA

  • Tiny Archibald
  • *******
  • Posts: 7833
  • Tommy Points: 827
  • Mr. Emoji
When did men get so whiny? Man up and be a gentlemen and you'll be fine. It's about time many of these nasty dudes were held responsible for their criminal behavior.

Honest question - why is it okay to tell a guy to "man up", when the female equivalent, whatever that might be, lol, would undoubtedly be seen as a sexist remark?

Of course men and women are different but being a gentleman and a lady still matter to me. If being a man for you is crying about things then go for it. You are totally free to do that. I conduct myself the way I think a man in the world should act. You can decide what kind of man you want to be. I wasn't telling a specific man to man up. I was simple stating surprise at how whiny men have gotten. Maybe even people in general. See NBA players as a good example. Do you think that Larry Bird would ever cry the way LeBron does? If you think it's a sexist remark that's your business. I don't.

How am I crying about things? I'm simply pointing out a double standard, here. I've seen plenty of women on TV, etc., simply dismiss arguments by telling guys to "man up" ::). Now imagine if that situation was reversed. If a guy on TV ever said anything like that to/about a woman, he'd be instantly crucified in the news, on social media, and presumably fired, and rightfully so, I might add, so why are women allowed to get away with that crap? Sorry, but that just isn't fair, to me.

I guess that it's kind of like a woman hating one woman call another woman a cow, but that same individual has no problem in calling a guy a pig ::). Like, wat, lol?

I wasn't talking about you specifically but men and maybe I should've said people, in general. To me "man up" means being what you feel like you should be as a person and not some BS macho concept.

Lol, it's fine, but apparently we have vastly different definitions when it comes to "man up", which, to me, has always meant "get over it/suck it up because you're a guy" ::), or at least that's the manner in which it has always been presented in my experience :-\.

When people are talking the biggest impediment in communicate is making sure we are using the same words to mean the same thing to both people.

Well, at least we've cleared that part up ;D.

Online Somebody

  • Don Chaney
  • *
  • Posts: 1560
  • Tommy Points: 11
  • Running in the 00s KANSEI DORIFUTO
As a teenager it's sad to say that I've given up on finding a spouse in the future because of this. Beat LA with the woke **** though, TP to him.
« Last Edit: May 27, 2018, 04:01:48 AM by Somebody »
****cago Bull****

Offline Beat LA

  • Tiny Archibald
  • *******
  • Posts: 7833
  • Tommy Points: 827
  • Mr. Emoji
As a teenager it's sad to say that I've given up on finding a spouse in the future because of this. Beat LA with the woke **** though, TP to him.

Lol, don't give up simply because I've literally only met a handful of women from within my own demographic in my life who are/were actually nice and/or treated me as a human being, although it occurs to me that that's probably the last thing that you would want to hear, ahahaha ;D.



Whatever. I just honestly don't care, anymore, lol ;D.

Offline LilRip

  • Ray Allen
  • ***
  • Posts: 3575
  • Tommy Points: 102
There are definitely double standards that go either way. Iíve seen guys get taken advantage of that, had it been the other way around, wouldíve caused an uproar. Instead, it gets brushed off and swept under the rug. Not condoning sexism or diminishing the experiences/marginalization of any particular group, but there are struggles on either side.

Responding to the most recently discussed phrase though, ďman upĒ is a pretty unfair thing to be told. Theres a counterpart to that in my language roughly translating to something like ďrespect your womanhood!Ē Or something along those lines. And it denotes that a person (often a girl) is doing things that are unbecoming of a woman, usually pertaining to brash or expressive behavior.

Interestingly (?), both expressions seek to suppress the other person. Guys are told to shut up and get over it, girls are told to shut up and stay in line. In the end, maybe a personís sexuality is just a vehicle to express the real heart of the matter. That is to say, maybe itís less about a personís sexuality and it stems more from the cruelty and indifference people are all seemingly so eager to express towards each other.
- LilRip

Online Somebody

  • Don Chaney
  • *
  • Posts: 1560
  • Tommy Points: 11
  • Running in the 00s KANSEI DORIFUTO
As a teenager it's sad to say that I've given up on finding a spouse in the future because of this. Beat LA with the woke **** though, TP to him.

Lol, don't give up simply because I've literally only met a handful of women from within my own demographic in my life who are/were actually nice and/or treated me as a human being, although it occurs to me that that's probably the last thing that you would want to hear, ahahaha ;D.



Whatever. I just honestly don't care, anymore, lol ;D.
Haha I'm at the point where I'm not going for it proactively, won't mean I'd shun every woman I meet lol. Depends on my luck really 8)
****cago Bull****

Offline indeedproceed

  • In The Rafters
  • James Naismith
  • *********************************
  • Posts: 41647
  • Tommy Points: 2339
  • You ain't the boss of the freakin' bedclothes.
I think if you're a young man who thinks the reason they can't find someone they're attracted to that they can hang out with is because women are exposing inherently misogynistic dating paradigms and outright but accepted (by men) sexual harassment disguised as 'perseverance', then you probably have bigger problems.

As others in the thread have alluded to, it's about communication, and loving yourself. If you're in a good place, with an open mind, I don't think women dating on their own terms is going to do anything but help you find a companion. It's not like women have stopped dating. Have you guys heard of college? It's...if you're not there now, it's worth waiting for. Just don't be a resentful entitled jerk when you arrive.

I met my wife outside of a bar 14 years ago with her walking up to me and saying, 'You're tall'. Every other serious girlfriend I'd had before then was one I'd pursued and initiated stuff with, and I was absolutely terrible at picking partners. My wife picked me and I like her most of the time.

TL,DR: If you're scared that women beginning to date on their own terms (because that's what is happening) means you'll be arrested for flirting or asking someone on a date, you're doing it wrong. If you think you don't have to have an open mind and it is the world's responsibility to help you find happiness, you're going to be sad a lot. Don't fall into that trap. The world is a cool place, don't be scared to let it in, and don't be scared of changing with it, if that's what needs to happen.

"You've gotta respect a 15-percent 3-point shooter. A guy
like that is always lethal." - Evan 'The God' Turner

Online Somebody

  • Don Chaney
  • *
  • Posts: 1560
  • Tommy Points: 11
  • Running in the 00s KANSEI DORIFUTO
I think if you're a young man who thinks the reason they can't find someone they're attracted to that they can hang out with is because women are exposing inherently misogynistic dating paradigms and outright but accepted (by men) sexual harassment disguised as 'perseverance', then you probably have bigger problems.

As others in the thread have alluded to, it's about communication, and loving yourself. If you're in a good place, with an open mind, I don't think women dating on their own terms is going to do anything but help you find a companion. It's not like women have stopped dating. Have you guys heard of college? It's...if you're not there now, it's worth waiting for. Just don't be a resentful entitled jerk when you arrive.

I met my wife outside of a bar 14 years ago with her walking up to me and saying, 'You're tall'. Every other serious girlfriend I'd had before then was one I'd pursued and initiated stuff with, and I was absolutely terrible at picking partners. My wife picked me and I like her most of the time.

TL,DR: If you're scared that women beginning to date on their own terms (because that's what is happening) means you'll be arrested for flirting or asking someone on a date, you're doing it wrong. If you think you don't have to have an open mind and it is the world's responsibility to help you find happiness, you're going to be sad a lot. Don't fall into that trap. The world is a cool place, don't be scared to let it in, and don't be scared of changing with it, if that's what needs to happen.
Lots of insulting assumptions there, I said I would not shun every women I meet, just not gonna go for it proactively. If you're going to construe what I said as an entitled jerk that thinks the world owes me, I suggest you go back minding your own business because no one has talked about what you said. If you think every man is a misogynist when they say I'm not dating women proactively because I'm concerned with some risks you probably have even bigger problems.
****cago Bull****

Offline Rakulp

  • Al Horford
  • Posts: 448
  • Tommy Points: 70
I'm old...I'm married...and should for some sad reason, she should pass before me, would NEVER, EVER (insert Chris Jericho meme here) date again.

No, it's not for the obvious reason that who wants an old broke man :)  But I wouldn't feel safe dating without a body cam, tape recorder and a Sheldon Cooper authored dating agreement signed and notorized by the other party! :)

...life was simpler...you met a girl, you smiled at her, you talked to her, and if you were lucky, she'd agree to go get a Coke with you at the local McDonalds.  I miss those days.

Online Somebody

  • Don Chaney
  • *
  • Posts: 1560
  • Tommy Points: 11
  • Running in the 00s KANSEI DORIFUTO
I'm old...I'm married...and should for some sad reason, she should pass before me, would NEVER, EVER (insert Chris Jericho meme here) date again.

No, it's not for the obvious reason that who wants an old broke man :)  But I wouldn't feel safe dating without a body cam, tape recorder and a Sheldon Cooper authored dating agreement signed and notorized by the other party! :)

...life was simpler...you met a girl, you smiled at her, you talked to her, and if you were lucky, she'd agree to go get a Coke with you at the local McDonalds.  I miss those days.
And no people chewing you out by questioning who you are when you say something like this back then. Wish you and your spouse nothing but the best.
****cago Bull****

Offline indeedproceed

  • In The Rafters
  • James Naismith
  • *********************************
  • Posts: 41647
  • Tommy Points: 2339
  • You ain't the boss of the freakin' bedclothes.
Lots of insulting assumptions there, I said I would not shun every women I meet, just not gonna go for it proactively. If you're going to construe what I said as an entitled jerk that thinks the world owes me, I suggest you go back minding your own business because no one has talked about what you said. If you think every man is a misogynist when they say I'm not dating women proactively because I'm concerned with some risks you probably have even bigger problems.

Ha, alright. I never said you were a misogynist and I never said 'every man is a misogynist when they say...'. I also didn't quote you directly because your actual statement of, "As a teenager it's sad to say that I've given up on finding a spouse in the future because of this." is well...it's a point of view that won't age well. You'll grow out of it when you understand women better, and when you understand yourself better. And when you've seen a little more of life and mellowed a little.

I mean...bookmark this in your mind. Come find me when you're 21, see how different you feel. See how different you feel from that when you're 25. And then imagine the wonder of wonders of how different you'll feel when you're 30. This idea of 'As a teenager it's sad to say that I've given up on finding a spouse in the future because of this' will not be long for this world. You'll move past it. Life is too fun to hold on to it.


"You've gotta respect a 15-percent 3-point shooter. A guy
like that is always lethal." - Evan 'The God' Turner

Offline KGs Knee

  • Danny Ainge
  • **********
  • Posts: 10505
  • Tommy Points: 1176
Well, if some people actually think asking a woman out on a date is sexual harassment, too bad for them, I guess.

I've asked countless women out on dates. Sometimes they say yes, sometimes they say no. If they say no I just politely tell them "okay, have a nice day". If a woman thinks that is harassment, they can feel free to go to the police. It won't get them very far, so I'm not terribly concerned.

I've also had woman ask me out on dates. Sometimes I've said yes, other times I've said no. As long as they simply move on if I told them no, there's nothing more to discuss.

Online Somebody

  • Don Chaney
  • *
  • Posts: 1560
  • Tommy Points: 11
  • Running in the 00s KANSEI DORIFUTO
Lots of insulting assumptions there, I said I would not shun every women I meet, just not gonna go for it proactively. If you're going to construe what I said as an entitled jerk that thinks the world owes me, I suggest you go back minding your own business because no one has talked about what you said. If you think every man is a misogynist when they say I'm not dating women proactively because I'm concerned with some risks you probably have even bigger problems.

Ha, alright. I never said you were a misogynist and I never said 'every man is a misogynist when they say...'. I also didn't quote you directly because your actual statement of, "As a teenager it's sad to say that I've given up on finding a spouse in the future because of this." is well...it's a point of view that won't age well. You'll grow out of it when you understand women better, and when you understand yourself better. And when you've seen a little more of life and mellowed a little.

I mean...bookmark this in your mind. Come find me when you're 21, see how different you feel. See how different you feel from that when you're 25. And then imagine the wonder of wonders of how different you'll feel when you're 30. This idea of 'As a teenager it's sad to say that I've given up on finding a spouse in the future because of this' will not be long for this world. You'll move past it. Life is too fun to hold on to it.
You could've said that instead of your original comment. Pretty sure you didn't mean it but it was quite insulting to hear. I'll agree that life is too fun for this to be an issue and that I'll probably have a radically different view of the world when I'm 21 or whatever. Just saying at this point I'm not interested in getting a girlfriend because of the double standards and stuff which was noted by some of the posters above. Probably should've phrased it better though, I meant I'm not going to flirt and do all of that stuff.
****cago Bull****

Offline liam

  • Danny Ainge
  • **********
  • Posts: 10954
  • Tommy Points: 702
When did men get so whiny? Man up and be a gentlemen and you'll be fine. It's about time many of these nasty dudes were held responsible for their criminal behavior.

Honest question - why is it okay to tell a guy to "man up", when the female equivalent, whatever that might be, lol, would undoubtedly be seen as a sexist remark?

Of course men and women are different but being a gentleman and a lady still matter to me. If being a man for you is crying about things then go for it. You are totally free to do that. I conduct myself the way I think a man in the world should act. You can decide what kind of man you want to be. I wasn't telling a specific man to man up. I was simple stating surprise at how whiny men have gotten. Maybe even people in general. See NBA players as a good example. Do you think that Larry Bird would ever cry the way LeBron does? If you think it's a sexist remark that's your business. I don't.

How am I crying about things? I'm simply pointing out a double standard, here. I've seen plenty of women on TV, etc., simply dismiss arguments by telling guys to "man up" ::). Now imagine if that situation was reversed. If a guy on TV ever said anything like that to/about a woman, he'd be instantly crucified in the news, on social media, and presumably fired, and rightfully so, I might add, so why are women allowed to get away with that crap? Sorry, but that just isn't fair, to me.

I guess that it's kind of like a woman hating one woman call another woman a cow, but that same individual has no problem in calling a guy a pig ::). Like, wat, lol?

I wasn't talking about you specifically but men and maybe I should've said people, in general. To me "man up" means being what you feel like you should be as a person and not some BS macho concept.

Lol, it's fine, but apparently we have vastly different definitions when it comes to "man up", which, to me, has always meant "get over it/suck it up because you're a guy" ::), or at least that's the manner in which it has always been presented in my experience :-\.

When people are talking the biggest impediment in communicate is making sure we are using the same words to mean the same thing to both people.

Well, at least we've cleared that part up ;D.

Every little bit helps.

Offline Roy H.

  • Forums Manager
  • James Naismith
  • *********************************
  • Posts: 34888
  • Tommy Points: -27828
  • 33,333 posts and counting . . .
Apparently looking at co-workers is harassment, too.

https://www.nationalreview.com/2018/06/netflix-five-second-staring-rule/


Once a CrotoNat, always a CrotoNat.  CelticsBlog Draft Champions, 2009 & 2012;
DKC Draft 2015 Champions and beyond...