Yup. Modern NBA refs are just terrible. And it really hurts the game. Why can't they put some money into decent training? On the other hand, two of the things missing from the modern ref brain are 1. Common sense, and 2. Courage. Maybe those things can't be solved but are just a product of the modern era in some way.
As for specifics, the need to re-learn the following:
1. The no-call is a valid option when not being able to decipher who initiated contact
2. Out of control offensive players need not be bailed out. The entire stadium knows they're out of control...you should know it too, ref.
3. Stop being so obsessed about preventing a fight from breaking out. Fights are not good, but it's not worth destroying the integrity of the game by ruining the flow because you might pee your pants.