How long of a commute is too much?

[Roy H.]

I've found anything over 45 minutes is brutal for me, personally.  But, I've got kids and am getting older. 

Funny enough, I've got a similar dilemma:  do I take a really great job, but with a 2 hour commute several times per week?  I'd be able to stay local about 2 days, but would have that brutal 2 hour commute 2 - 3 times per week.  The anticipation would be that I'd be doing that for about a year, and then would be able to transfer into a lateral position where I'd be local full time.

So, do I kill myself for a year?  Drive a dangerous road in the winter?  (I live in Maine).  The payoff would be worthwhile, but do I give up seeing my children except for maybe 20 minutes per day those 3 days?

My decision is, it's not worth it.  Family comes first, even when weighing fairly short-term sacrifices.

Your decision?  If it's your dream job, it's worth at least giving it a shot.  The shift change alone will help make up for the commute, in terms of impact on your body.

[Smartacus]

Take the job if you feel it is your dream job.

I lived in Cambridge and worked in Dover, NH for five years (I have now lived in Florida for seven). It was approximately 75 miles away and the evening commute always took about 15 minutes longer than in the morning. I am from NH so I didn't want to move back and I also didn't have family at home to worry about.

If you are entrenched in Dorchester, you can make it work; if there is any way you can transition even a half-hour closer to your job at some point, then all the easier. If it just doesn't work out, well, you can always go back to doing what you are doing now. It's important to take chances in life and you would probably regret passing this one up.

Solid perspectives all around, thanks everyone. Opportunities like this don't just come around, I'm going to pursue it.

[Smartacus]

I've found anything over 45 minutes is brutal for me, personally.  But, I've got kids and am getting older. 

Funny enough, I've got a similar dilemma:  do I take a really great job, but with a 2 hour commute several times per week?  I'd be able to stay local about 2 days, but would have that brutal 2 hour commute 2 - 3 times per week.  The anticipation would be that I'd be doing that for about a year, and then would be able to transfer into a lateral position where I'd be local full time.

So, do I kill myself for a year?  Drive a dangerous road in the winter?  (I live in Maine).  The payoff would be worthwhile, but do I give up seeing my children except for maybe 20 minutes per day those 3 days?

My decision is, it's not worth it.  Family comes first, even when weighing fairly short-term sacrifices.

Your decision?  If it's your dream job, it's worth at least giving it a shot.  The shift change alone will help make up for the commute, in terms of impact on your body.

Agreed thanks Roy, I've been paying my dues with overtime, nights, weekends and holidays for as long as i can remember, definitely think the upgrade in schedule alone could be enough to put the whole situation over the top.

[TheTruthFot18]

Commutes, especially with heavy traffic, are psychologically brutal; studies consistently show they have a massive drag on happiness, quality of life, and overall well-being.  3 hours in a car every workday will add up QUICK.

However, this seems like a big job opportunity in the short term and a career boost in the long term.  I'd say suck it up and deal with it for a year til you can move closer, especially if you're a younger guy.  Maybe try to get a girlfriend who lives closer to your work if that's an option    It's going to be rough though.  Think of ways to make the commute more tolerable for yourself and be ready to move closer ASAP.  Good luck!

First part applies to my wife and I. I have a longer commute but I leave earlier in the morning and afternoon so we both average about an hour each way. My old commute used to be 30-40 minutes but I hated being there as opposed to my current job that I enjoy and am respected. Same with my wife (not to mention to the huge pay bump we both got). She's been doing it for a year while I onyl started after christmas so it's still new. Our lease is up at the end of this year and we are moving as close to our jobs as possible.

As long as you don't have a house (thinking no since its Dorchester) then you can easily pack up and move or get out of a lease if you have a nice landlord.

[Smart457]

I've found anything over 45 minutes is brutal for me, personally.  But, I've got kids and am getting older. 

Funny enough, I've got a similar dilemma:  do I take a really great job, but with a 2 hour commute several times per week?  I'd be able to stay local about 2 days, but would have that brutal 2 hour commute 2 - 3 times per week.  The anticipation would be that I'd be doing that for about a year, and then would be able to transfer into a lateral position where I'd be local full time.

So, do I kill myself for a year?  Drive a dangerous road in the winter?  (I live in Maine).  The payoff would be worthwhile, but do I give up seeing my children except for maybe 20 minutes per day those 3 days?

My decision is, it's not worth it.  Family comes first, even when weighing fairly short-term sacrifices.

Your decision?  If it's your dream job, it's worth at least giving it a shot.  The shift change alone will help make up for the commute, in terms of impact on your body.

Agreed thanks Roy, I've been paying my dues with overtime, nights, weekends and holidays for as long as i can remember, definitely think the upgrade in schedule alone could be enough to put the whole situation over the top.

Ive done an hour drive. That's probably my limit. I found it relaxing and a bit of a winding down before I got home to more stress. Also the drive in was ok. I'm not a morning person so it forced me to wake up by time I got in to work. You have a full hour to relax, listen to sports radio and wake up before work.

Thankfully I can work from home now.

[jpotter33]

I've lived in rural areas most of my life, so I've always been used to having to drive thirty plus minutes to get places. That being said, I pretty much put a limit at an hour anymore. We might be relocating soon, and my wife isn't looking at any job with an hour or longer commute.

[Thruthelookingglass]

Truth, and a TP for the brilliant solution.

Commutes, especially with heavy traffic, are psychologically brutal; studies consistently show they have a massive drag on happiness, quality of life, and overall well-being.  3 hours in a car every workday will add up QUICK.

However, this seems like a big job opportunity in the short term and a career boost in the long term.  I'd say suck it up and deal with it for a year til you can move closer, especially if you're a younger guy.  Maybe try to get a girlfriend who lives closer to your work if that's an option    It's going to be rough though.  Think of ways to make the commute more tolerable for yourself and be ready to move closer ASAP.  Good luck!

[Moranis]

what is the commute now?  If you are already doing 30 to 45 minutes then doubling that isn't as much of a deal.  If your commute now is like 5 to 10 minutes, then going to an hour and a half would be a huge shock to the system.  That is basically 3 hours of just driving a day, so you are basically going to be working 12 hours for 5 days every single week.  That is not only a lot of stress but also a lot of extra dollars on gas, car maint/repair, etc.  Now if it is a short amount of time, no problem, or if you can hop on the train/subway, that isn't as bad because you can relax a bit by watching tv, reading news or books, playing games, etc.  After a couple of months of that much driving you are going to be very sick of it and your dream job won't seem so wonderful anymore.

[JBcat]

I'm very fortunate now as 4 days a week I work from home, and 1 day in the office with about a 15 to 20 minute commute just using the T.  I remember the days though of the long commute.  I feel like I have so much of my life back now, but if a tough commute short term leads to a better future you might have to bite bullet.  Either that or be patient waiting for other options closer to home if you think they will come.  Tough call.

[Spilling Green Dye]

This is a really interesting thread to me, especially as I had a 65 minute commute each way for nearly 5-years (in construction project management and then sales).  It varied at times (if out of town for a project, etc.), and I was young like you, but I found the commute to be a pretty big drag on life. 

My honest advice is to evaluate two things:  1)  Are you due for this kind of promotion, or is this a special opportunity that you know won't come around often?  2)  If you work this new job for a year, can it truly lead to bigger & better things?

If this is a unique opportunity and can lead to having the right kind of experience & job on your resume, then I highly recommend taking it. You need to strike while the iron is hot when you're young, but don't get too stuck in this job.  I didn't proactively apply for new jobs enough when I was unhappy and sick of the position, and really wish that I had.  You can leverage this job, but it's also an opportunity to evaluate your time and get motivated to make the most of it (eat healthy, get in shape, plan vacations, etc.)  But, be sure to lay out a plan to where you can apply for new jobs that are closer (or plan to move closer) a year from then. 

[Hemingway]

I wouldn't do it if I were you. 3 hours in a car plus 8 hours at work. When you factor in sleeping, getting ready for work and eating you will have no time to yourself at all. I did an hour each way for a year and hated it. Especially sitting in traffic, it just gets to you. If you end up hating it you could quit or get fired and wish that you had just stayed. Extra money is great but gas ain't free and buying a bigger car certainly won't be either. There are a lot of factors we don't know, like how many jobs like this there are, is there a chance if you just keep apllying you could find another dream job closer to you? If not I'd say don't take it unless you can get out of you lease and move closer to the job. Being young and single is great but not a reason to make bad decisions just for the sake of making them. IMO 3 hours in a car 5 days a week is a bad decision almost regardless of the circumstances.

[hwangjini_1]

I'm in a similar situation

my current commute is a little over an hour each way working in Boston.  --> driving to the closest commuter rail and taking that in to work.  fortunately, my company is right across from the commuter rail station.  Unfortunately, my company is moving before the end of the year to Charlestown which will add 25 minutes each way to my commute with 2 more connections -- subway and shuttle bus to the subway station -- which adds 2 more opportunities to miss my train back home. 

I get the dilemna.  is the new job stable enough to justify moving closer to Devens and are you in a position to be able to move?

It would be stable enough but I just signed an 18 month last January. Moving out could be an option down the road.

Take the job. Figure out the housing situation later. Especially if you're single and young.

i agree with koz. you said your lease was signed last january? you mean january 2015 or 2016? but in either case, just do the commute and keep in mind it is only temporary.

another option is to break the lease, negotiate with the landlord, and worst case is to lose the deposit. just a thought.

[indeedproceed]

45 minutes each way spent in a moving vehicle is what I feel is the line for too long of a commute. I reached that point by having a few different commutes in my life and being over 30.

[Quetzalcoatl]

It depends if the commute is on a train or if I'm driving. If I can be on a train, it's a little better. I would probably not do it unless it's a huge title increase or they're giving me like an absurd amount of money more - like doubling my salary more.  Then I'd probably quit or move after a couple years, anyway. 

[acieEarl]

Take the job and suck it up for the 18 months or try to get out of your lease. That commute is going to suck but if it's a sweet job it might be worth it. I personally wouldn't do it as I got a wife and kids, but if I didn't I would take the job.