Sullinger and Ray Rice

[zimbo]

"Different levels of domestic violence." Wow, I can't believe I just read that. This thread is an embarrassment and as a female, I've lost a lot of respect for several posters I had once admired.

Anyone who honestly thinks the Sullinger incident isn't as bad as the Ray Rice incident is delusional. The only difference is that there was no video of what Jared did. And just because that was the only publicized incident with Jared, doesn't mean it was the first or the last. Domestic violence just doesn't pop up out of nowhere, there's always a history.

Great response! Thanks for this. TP!

[RJ87]

"Different levels of domestic violence." Wow, I can't believe I just read that. This thread is an embarrassment and as a female, I've lost a lot of respect for several posters I had once admired.

Anyone who honestly thinks the Sullinger incident isn't as bad as the Ray Rice incident is delusional. The only difference is that there was no video of what Jared did. And just because that was the only publicized incident with Jared, doesn't mean it was the first or the last. Domestic violence just doesn't pop up out of nowhere, there's always a history.

Wait a minute. I have to admit I am under the impression that just from a legal and technical perspective there are different levels of domestic violence, but not just domestic, but really any violence. Hence assault and battery vs simple assault and manslaughter vs first degree murder, etc. 
I am under the impression for right or wrong authorities have to make decisions about various levels of violence all the time.

I just don't think I can say all violence is the same all the time.

Go to a support group for domestic violence survivors and say that, I guarantee you'll feel differently by the end of it.

When my younger cousin was 14, she met a boy and fell in love. They dated throughout high school, despite multiple his multiple arrests for slapping her, pushing her, and threatening her. I guess those offenses werent voilent enough. 4 years ago, he killed her in front of their 2 young children before turning the gun on himself. Our legal system hasn't caught up to the real threats women face everyday.

[BballTim]

"Different levels of domestic violence." Wow, I can't believe I just read that. This thread is an embarrassment and as a female, I've lost a lot of respect for several posters I had once admired.

Anyone who honestly thinks the Sullinger incident isn't as bad as the Ray Rice incident is delusional. The only difference is that there was no video of what Jared did. And just because that was the only publicized incident with Jared, doesn't mean it was the first or the last. Domestic violence just doesn't pop up out of nowhere, there's always a history.

  So if one person grabbed his girl friend's wrist during an argument and another person threw his girlfriend down a flight of stairs you'd say that both incidents were on the same level and should be viewed as equally egregious incidents?
 

[zimbo]

"Different levels of domestic violence." Wow, I can't believe I just read that. This thread is an embarrassment and as a female, I've lost a lot of respect for several posters I had once admired.

Anyone who honestly thinks the Sullinger incident isn't as bad as the Ray Rice incident is delusional. The only difference is that there was no video of what Jared did. And just because that was the only publicized incident with Jared, doesn't mean it was the first or the last. Domestic violence just doesn't pop up out of nowhere, there's always a history.

Wait a minute. I have to admit I am under the impression that just from a legal and technical perspective there are different levels of domestic violence, but not just domestic, but really any violence. Hence assault and battery vs simple assault and manslaughter vs first degree murder, etc. 
I am under the impression for right or wrong authorities have to make decisions about various levels of violence all the time.

I just don't think I can say all violence is the same all the time.

Go to a support group for domestic violence survivors and say that, I guarantee you'll feel differently by the end of it.

When my younger cousin was 14, she met a boy and fell in love. They dated throughout high school, despite multiple his multiple arrests for slapping her, pushing her, and threatening her. I guess those offenses werent voilent enough. 4 years ago, he killed her in front of their 2 young children before turning the gun on himself. Our legal system hasn't caught up to the real threats women face everyday.

That's a terrible story. Thanks for sharing. What some people don't realize that domestic violence is usually not reported to authorities until it gets extreme. Unfortunately, some of the victims continue with the relationship because they believe the abuser is all they have. Many of these relationships result in what happened to your cousin. The warning signs are usually ignored. The legal system needs to take domestic violence seriously.

[zimbo]

"Different levels of domestic violence." Wow, I can't believe I just read that. This thread is an embarrassment and as a female, I've lost a lot of respect for several posters I had once admired.

Anyone who honestly thinks the Sullinger incident isn't as bad as the Ray Rice incident is delusional. The only difference is that there was no video of what Jared did. And just because that was the only publicized incident with Jared, doesn't mean it was the first or the last. Domestic violence just doesn't pop up out of nowhere, there's always a history.

  So if one person grabbed his girl friend's wrist during an argument and another person threw his girlfriend down a flight of stairs you'd say that both incidents were on the same level and should be viewed as equally egregious incidents?

Just out of curiosity, did you ever read what Sullinger did? It is pretty disturbing. He didn't just shake her or grab her wrists.

[BballTim]

I really don't get the point of this thread

I don't either. People knew that domestic abuse was bad before the Ray Rice incident. The Sully incident received plenty of scrutiny.

So, let me get this straight, you wouldn't gently restrain your girlfriend if she went berserk and started slapping and hitting you? Sully made a wise decision and ended the dispute as peacefully as possible. It's just that women tend to over-dramatize.

Pointless thread.

I forgot the portion where Sullinger threw a punch that knocked out his girlfriend.

"domestic abuse " is a fuzzy term and you know it.

Wow with some of these responses. I understand some sports have predominately male fan bases, but some of these responses are just disturbing. No wonder society sweeps this issue under the rug. I hate that a gruesome video finally opened some peoples eyes.

Thank for this tread Desani. What Sullinger (and many other NBA players) have done is unacceptable. Does the NBA even have a domestic violence policy?

But I am not going to expect some Celtics fans to care. Some fans believe their players (esp fav one) can do no wrong. You see this with some Ravens fans.

I wouldn't be surprised if this thread gets locked.

well said.  . finally someone with sense on here. Yes, many fans of teams think their player can do no wrong. Sullinger did do wrong in this case. Even the FO  suspended him for the opener last year (should have been more games) even though there were no charges. It was a bad look for the team.

  I think the people with sense here are the ones that realizes that those responses don't all imply that Sullinger did no wrong.

i agree with this 100%.  Not one person in the whole thread ever said, implied, or alluded to Sully having done nothing wrong.

And just because someone completely misses the point doesn't mean that you are attacking them either.

Well you and BBallTim have completely missed my point. I said the responses I quoted were disturbing and dismissive about domestic violence. I stand by my point. It really doesn't have to do with weather if anyone implied or alluded to Sully being wrong. I cringed at the responses because it spoke to how some people view domestic violence.

  If you somehow think that "I don't see the point of this thread" speaks to someone's views on domestic violence then you're the victim of an overactive imagination.

[blink]

"Different levels of domestic violence." Wow, I can't believe I just read that. This thread is an embarrassment and as a female, I've lost a lot of respect for several posters I had once admired.

Anyone who honestly thinks the Sullinger incident isn't as bad as the Ray Rice incident is delusional. The only difference is that there was no video of what Jared did. And just because that was the only publicized incident with Jared, doesn't mean it was the first or the last. Domestic violence just doesn't pop up out of nowhere, there's always a history.

Wait a minute. I have to admit I am under the impression that just from a legal and technical perspective there are different levels of domestic violence, but not just domestic, but really any violence. Hence assault and battery vs simple assault and manslaughter vs first degree murder, etc. 
I am under the impression for right or wrong authorities have to make decisions about various levels of violence all the time.

I just don't think I can say all violence is the same all the time.

Absolutely agree with this eja... 

But since we are all "delustional" as per RJ87, how is a man pushing her wife the same thing as a shooting her with a gun?  Is grabbing someone's arm to try to calm them down the same thing as knocking them cold with a punch to the face.  The law absolutely dictates that there are different levels of violence and the punishment for those crimes are different. 

No one here is saying domestic violence is acceptable.  That isn't even a discussion.  But there are absolutely levels of violent acts, and different punishments for those acts.  The whole initial post of this thread was to try and connect what Sullinger did to what Ray Rice did.  Based on the facts / information that have been released, those were definitely not the same thing. 

But by RJ87's definition we are all delusional...smh

[BballTim]

"Different levels of domestic violence." Wow, I can't believe I just read that. This thread is an embarrassment and as a female, I've lost a lot of respect for several posters I had once admired.

Anyone who honestly thinks the Sullinger incident isn't as bad as the Ray Rice incident is delusional. The only difference is that there was no video of what Jared did. And just because that was the only publicized incident with Jared, doesn't mean it was the first or the last. Domestic violence just doesn't pop up out of nowhere, there's always a history.

  So if one person grabbed his girl friend's wrist during an argument and another person threw his girlfriend down a flight of stairs you'd say that both incidents were on the same level and should be viewed as equally egregious incidents?

Just out of curiosity, did you ever read what Sullinger did? It is pretty disturbing. He didn't just shake her or grab her wrists.

  I don't know that I saw a full accounting of what happened, including his side of things. But that's not the point, I was just curious about her claim that there's never any difference between different incidents of domestic violence, no matter how great the difference in severity.

[RJ87]

Wait a minute. I have to admit I am under the impression that just from a legal and technical perspective there are different levels of domestic violence, but not just domestic, but really any violence. Hence assault and battery vs simple assault and manslaughter vs first degree murder, etc. 
I am under the impression for right or wrong authorities have to make decisions about various levels of violence all the time.

I just don't think I can say all violence is the same all the time.

Go to a support group for domestic violence survivors and say that, I guarantee you'll feel differently by the end of it.

When my younger cousin was 14, she met a boy and fell in love. They dated throughout high school, despite multiple his multiple arrests for slapping her, pushing her, and threatening her. I guess those offenses werent voilent enough. 4 years ago, he killed her in front of their 2 young children before turning the gun on himself. Our legal system hasn't caught up to the real threats women face everyday.

That's a terrible story. Thanks for sharing. What some people don't realize that domestic violence is usually not reported to authorities until it gets extreme. Unfortunately, some of the victims continue with the relationship because they believe the abuser is all they have. Many of these relationships result in what happened to your cousin. The warning signs are usually ignored. The legal system needs to take domestic violence seriously.

Exactly. But I've come to find that a lot of people just aren't educated enough on the psychology of domestic violence to lead to change. There's still way too much of a tendency to make excuses for offenders and/or victim shame.

[zimbo]

  If you somehow think that "I don't see the point of this thread" speaks to someone's views on domestic violence then you're the victim of an overactive imagination.

Really BBallTim? I am a victim of overactive imagination because someone dismissed the thread with a comment like ""I don't see the point of this thread" and not offering anything of substance as to why.

Like RJ87 this thread has disappointed me in some of the male posters. I usually like your takes on the Celtics, but I guess this is not about the Celtics.

I stand by what I said. In my opinion, those sentiments were disturbing.

[zimbo]

"Different levels of domestic violence." Wow, I can't believe I just read that. This thread is an embarrassment and as a female, I've lost a lot of respect for several posters I had once admired.

Anyone who honestly thinks the Sullinger incident isn't as bad as the Ray Rice incident is delusional. The only difference is that there was no video of what Jared did. And just because that was the only publicized incident with Jared, doesn't mean it was the first or the last. Domestic violence just doesn't pop up out of nowhere, there's always a history.

  So if one person grabbed his girl friend's wrist during an argument and another person threw his girlfriend down a flight of stairs you'd say that both incidents were on the same level and should be viewed as equally egregious incidents?

Just out of curiosity, did you ever read what Sullinger did? It is pretty disturbing. He didn't just shake her or grab her wrists.

  I don't know that I saw a full accounting of what happened, including his side of things. But that's not the point, I was just curious about her claim that there's never any difference between different incidents of domestic violence, no matter how great the difference in severity.

Well here is a an account per Globe:

The Boston Celtics’ Jared Sullinger stood stone-faced and wearing handcuffs in the dock of Waltham District Court on Tuesday as prosecutors said the 6-foot-9-inch, 260-pound power forward pinned his girlfriend to a bed and to the floor of their townhouse last weekend and then snatched and smashed her cellphone when she tried to call police.

“During this heated argument in the bedroom, Jared pushed her down onto the bed and got on top of her,” Waltham police wrote in their report of the confrontation. Sullinger’s girlfriend said “she tried several times to get up, but he kept pinning her down and would not let her up.’’

http://www.bostonglobe.com/metro/2013/09/03/boston-celtics-forward-jared-sullinger-due-waltham-court-today-following-weekend-arrest/qyFARLFHnTlqJhjtuYC3pL/story.html

That is very disturbing. It has a false imprisonment vibe to it. I just hope he learned from this. Since the legal system basically gave him a slap on the wrist.

[zimbo]

Wait a minute. I have to admit I am under the impression that just from a legal and technical perspective there are different levels of domestic violence, but not just domestic, but really any violence. Hence assault and battery vs simple assault and manslaughter vs first degree murder, etc. 
I am under the impression for right or wrong authorities have to make decisions about various levels of violence all the time.

I just don't think I can say all violence is the same all the time.

Go to a support group for domestic violence survivors and say that, I guarantee you'll feel differently by the end of it.

When my younger cousin was 14, she met a boy and fell in love. They dated throughout high school, despite multiple his multiple arrests for slapping her, pushing her, and threatening her. I guess those offenses werent voilent enough. 4 years ago, he killed her in front of their 2 young children before turning the gun on himself. Our legal system hasn't caught up to the real threats women face everyday.

That's a terrible story. Thanks for sharing. What some people don't realize that domestic violence is usually not reported to authorities until it gets extreme. Unfortunately, some of the victims continue with the relationship because they believe the abuser is all they have. Many of these relationships result in what happened to your cousin. The warning signs are usually ignored. The legal system needs to take domestic violence seriously.

Exactly. But I've come to find that a lot of people just aren't educated enough on the psychology of domestic violence to lead to change. There's still way too much of a tendency to make excuses for offenders and/or victim shame.

Exactly. There needs to be more education on this topic and less  victim shaming and excusing the offenders that is usually done.

[Eja117]

"Different levels of domestic violence." Wow, I can't believe I just read that. This thread is an embarrassment and as a female, I've lost a lot of respect for several posters I had once admired.

Anyone who honestly thinks the Sullinger incident isn't as bad as the Ray Rice incident is delusional. The only difference is that there was no video of what Jared did. And just because that was the only publicized incident with Jared, doesn't mean it was the first or the last. Domestic violence just doesn't pop up out of nowhere, there's always a history.

Wait a minute. I have to admit I am under the impression that just from a legal and technical perspective there are different levels of domestic violence, but not just domestic, but really any violence. Hence assault and battery vs simple assault and manslaughter vs first degree murder, etc. 
I am under the impression for right or wrong authorities have to make decisions about various levels of violence all the time.

I just don't think I can say all violence is the same all the time.

Go to a support group for domestic violence survivors and say that, I guarantee you'll feel differently by the end of it.

When my younger cousin was 14, she met a boy and fell in love. They dated throughout high school, despite multiple his multiple arrests for slapping her, pushing her, and threatening her. I guess those offenses werent voilent enough. 4 years ago, he killed her in front of their 2 young children before turning the gun on himself. Our legal system hasn't caught up to the real threats women face everyday.

Would you say I should go to a support group for male victims or female victims or sexual assault victims, or emotional/verbal abuse victims, or child domestic survivors, or groups where the couples hurt each other, or just any group?

[RJ87]

"Different levels of domestic violence." Wow, I can't believe I just read that. This thread is an embarrassment and as a female, I've lost a lot of respect for several posters I had once admired.

Anyone who honestly thinks the Sullinger incident isn't as bad as the Ray Rice incident is delusional. The only difference is that there was no video of what Jared did. And just because that was the only publicized incident with Jared, doesn't mean it was the first or the last. Domestic violence just doesn't pop up out of nowhere, there's always a history.

Wait a minute. I have to admit I am under the impression that just from a legal and technical perspective there are different levels of domestic violence, but not just domestic, but really any violence. Hence assault and battery vs simple assault and manslaughter vs first degree murder, etc. 
I am under the impression for right or wrong authorities have to make decisions about various levels of violence all the time.

I just don't think I can say all violence is the same all the time.

Absolutely agree with this eja... 

But since we are all "delustional" as per RJ87, how is a man pushing her wife the same thing as a shooting her with a gun?  Is grabbing someone's arm to try to calm them down the same thing as knocking them cold with a punch to the face.  The law absolutely dictates that there are different levels of violence and the punishment for those crimes are different. 

No one here is saying domestic violence is acceptable.  That isn't even a discussion.  But there are absolutely levels of violent acts, and different punishments for those acts.  The whole initial post of this thread was to try and connect what Sullinger did to what Ray Rice did.  Based on the facts / information that have been released, those were definitely not the same thing. 

But by RJ87's definition we are all delusional...smh

I've already addressed this, but I will again since you either failed to acknowledge it or didn't read it all. I think the law hasn't caught up to domestic violence. These occurrences are rarely one-offs and are often symptomatic of a much bigger issue.  Why is that a victim has to be severely hurt or killed before anything is taken seriously?

The law isn't designed to protect victims. A woman (or a man, because men can be abused too) can have her significant other arrested for slapping her or grabbing her or pushing her, but those are relatively minor offenses so they're let go with - for lack of better words - a slap on the wrist, while the society at large is inclined to look the other way. What's to stop them from escalating? I think looking at an incident and saying "well, he only grabbed her" or "gee, he just slapped her once" is a part of the problem. If people took these "minor" offenses seriously, more victims could be saved.

[BballTim]

  If you somehow think that "I don't see the point of this thread" speaks to someone's views on domestic violence then you're the victim of an overactive imagination.

Really BBallTim? I am a victim of overactive imagination because someone dismissed the thread with a comment like ""I don't see the point of this thread" and not offering anything of substance as to why.

Like RJ87 this thread has disappointed me in some of the male posters. I usually like your takes on the Celtics, but I guess this is not about the Celtics.

I stand by what I said. In my opinion, those sentiments were disturbing.

  Sometimes when people say "I don't see the point of this thread" they expound upon why they started the thread so it's clearer to people. It's not as disturbing as you might imagine. The OP seemed to be reminding people that Sully had also been involved in a DV issue, that there was no video of the incident, and that he hoped Sully learned from the incident and became a better person because of it. I'm not sure the point of starting a thread to say that.