Honesty in Exit Interview?

[celticdog]

So I started a new job about six months ago and I plan on leaving as soon as an opportunity comes up. 

My main reason for leaving is that my supervisor is extremely patronizing and micro-managing.  I have to ask her for permission to perform simple routine tasks and she even requires that I ask her permission to sit at my desk.  When I ask her questions she defers me to other people or straight up withholds information from me--I missed a day of work due to a death in the family and she refrained from telling me the CEO announced her retirement at the staff meeting I missed! 

She bullies people too and I think she dislikes me because I dont put my head down and slump my shoulders in her presence.  I'm responsive to her instructions and courteous with her but I dont act cowed like many other staff members do.  I dont like seeing her crush weak people who dont have confidence.

So when I do conduct my exit interview should I state my objections to this behavior to the CEO or should I give a politically correct answer and sugarcoat the situation?  I want to use this job as a reference in the future, but I feel like the organization should know what is going on, they are losing young staff over this.  Not sure how to handle this and I want to do right by myself and the organization.  Maybe I am naive.

Finally, I dont want to engage the situation while I am on the job because I dont want to make things worse for myself.  I have realized there is no room for growth/promotion and my supervisor has tenure and wont retire for 12 years.  It would be more trouble than it is worth for me to press for proper treatment.

What would you do? Thanks for your opinions.   

[arctic 3.0]

If you can get by with out using this job as a reference then tell the truth on the way out the door. it may spare some other poor wretch the same experience.

Before you go you may want to go to HR with your concerns. be tactful but let them know you are having difficulty working with your supervisor. This may not be the first time they've heard of an issue with your supervisor. If the company values your work they may find another position for you.

If they're unresponsive then whatever, your leaving anyway.

good luck

[hwangjini_1]

were i to be the CEO in question (which i am not), i would certainly hope for honesty from the exiting employee. indeed, that is the point to exit interviews - to solicit honest opinions and use them to improve the organization.

given this, what i do NOT want to hear is a personal tirade and **** session about personal woes prompted by personal vendettas. personal assaults discredit the speaker and provide next to zero helpful info for correcting flaws. as the CEO, how do i sort out personal hatred from valid professional problems?

the solution? in my mind, i dont mind if some level of friction took place, that is normal. what i am seeking is concrete areas/instances where i can learn and improve the organization.

what you gave above looks very good. specific, non-personal (in general), and well intended. perhaps try to change the language from "me, me, me" a bit more, and use "i think the office environment would be more productive if this stopped", or, "if this were the norm instead i think people could more work done."

may i suggest a preface something like this...

"i may be leaving here, but i appreciate that i learned and grew professionally during my time here. thank you. now, i would like to take this opportunity to give something back.

"here are the positives i found and i hope they remain.....

"here are the areas i think need improvement and some ways you might think about fixing the problems....

that is, you are appreciative and credible (i.e. not simply a disgruntled employee spewing toxins) so the problems you mention will be taken more seriously.

who knows? your supervisor may already be in the crosshairs of the CEO, and your conversation may contribute to the CEO taking corrective action.

just my 2 cents worth.

[Csfan1984]

I'd let them know but don't rant. Just use a constructive criticism approach. Also do mention positives of the person to look balanced.

[More Banners]

Forget what everyone else wrote.

Look out for yourself.

Smile, and thank them for the opportunity.

[Mr October]

Forget what everyone else wrote.

Look out for yourself.

Smile, and thank them for the opportunity.

I second this. Rarely does criticism of a superior go well. Often times that person's superior does not want to risk looking bad by having the superior they elected exposed as being a bad worker.

The chain of middle management is very political, and venomous in my experience. And it is far easier for them to make a scapegoat of the employee lower on the power chain.  I would avoid the risk and move on.

Considering you would like a recommendation and a positive exit, i would look out for yourself. I have seen too many people get burned.

[green147]

I had a nightmare boss like that a little while back and I had to get out of there. If you need it as a reference, then just some basic constructive criticisms and mostly "thank you for the opportunity." It would be different if you had a new job lined up and it didn't really matter, but there's no point in risking burning a bridge with a reference because of one bad seed. In the long road, it will also feel better to you that you took the high road when you left.

[mgent]

I agree with the last 3 posts if you're counting on a future reference.

Treat it like you're breaking up with a woman, but you're trying to date her best friend/sister.  "It's not you, it's me."

[Neurotic Guy]

If your supervisor was well-supervised, the issues would be well known.  If not, then that is a big problem for the organization and one that you won't solve in an honest  exit interview. First, I'd be sure to be clear about the purpose of the exit interview (both stated purpose and real purpose).  By this I mean that sometimes it will be stated that the purpose is to gain information to improve the organization, but often the real purpose is just a cursory closure, or to be able to claim that the organization has an exit interview process.   If the organization really wants your feedback, i would try to balance being both thoughtful and self-protective.  I agree with those who've suggested that if you can't avoid a rant about the quality of your supervisor, I'd opt for citing what you like about the organization and gratitude for the opportunity.   You are obligated as a human being to report lack of ethics or imorality (IMO), but bad supervising should be noticed by your supervisor's supervisor and you often come off sounding like sour grapes if you dis your supervisor in an exit interview. 

Be positive and by omission you'll make it clear that you don't see your supervisor as a positive part of the organzation.

[celticdog]

Thanks for the thoughtful replies.

I have decided that when the time comes I will keep the exit interview simple and maintain a positive and grateful demeanor.  I will choose not to bring up the problems I have with my supervisor.

I think that Neurotic Guy hit the nail on the head when he said that if my supervisor was well-supervised the problems would be known.  They are likely known and tolerated/accepted by the upper management. I dont want to cause a situation which will hurt me.

I need the reference so that I can move forward and better myself.  Like Jalen Rose says I gotta keep cashing dem checks.  College loan payments and the rust on my car never sleep.  Just hate that good people without options will continue to be bullied by this supervisor. 

[Eja117]

Find good coworkers that don't deserve to be treated like this. Offer them good references. You might get some references back. Try to help increase the amount of good people the non-responsive company loses.

Take names. Plot revenge.

[hwangjini_1]

I agree with the last 3 posts if you're counting on a future reference.

Treat it like you're breaking up with a woman, but you're trying to date her best friend/sister.  "It's not you, it's me."

if you really have a tried and true method for accomplishing this you should be nominated for nobel prize. 

[BigAlTheFuture]

I agree with the last 3 posts if you're counting on a future reference.

Treat it like you're breaking up with a woman, but you're trying to date her best friend/sister.  "It's not you, it's me."

LOL dude what the heck. That's like the lowest of all lows.

[clover]

I agree with the others that simply thanking the firm for the opportunity and experience, and moving on graciously, is the way to go.

But I'm curious about needing to ask permission to sit at your desk. Where else are you supposed to position yourself? Are you a salesman or support clerk of some type working retail?

Your manager may truly be petty and vicious--or she may, like most managers of entry-level people, simply have limited managerial skills. Sending you to others who can answer your questions may not necessarily be a bad or inefficient thing to do, and it seems more likely that she didn't think to mention the CEO's retirement than that she consciously chose to withhold that information from you. (That also seems like info that's probably incidental to your daily work that you would normally have heard through the grapevine anyway.)

Reading between the lines, it seems like you may be a Millennial? If so, perhaps your boss only needs this training video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sz0o9clVQu8

[clover]

I agree with the last 3 posts if you're counting on a future reference.

Treat it like you're breaking up with a woman, but you're trying to date her best friend/sister.  "It's not you, it's me."

if you really have a tried and true method for accomplishing this you should be nominated for nobel prize. 

Ha ha.