Author Topic: Thread for CBers to debate merits of female CBers wanting to talk to each other  (Read 13001 times)

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fitzhickey

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I think this is being taken a bit out of hand. It seemed light hearted to me

Offline LarBrd33

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I think this is being taken a bit out of hand. It seemed light hearted to me

I take it back.  Usually I read these walls of texts in the voice of Patton Oswalt.  However, when Fitz talks... I read his walls of text in the voice of Patton Oswalt with an Australian accent.

For now on, I'm going to imagine everyone talking in the voice of Australian female Patton Oswalt.  It's the least I can do.

Offline Emmette Bryant

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This is silly.  I'm the one who made the "Can we merge this with the online dating thread" comment.  Whatever.

I really don't care who any of you people are.  I said a long time ago that I rarely remembered anyone from one conversation to another.  You're all just walls of text to me.  The only person I remembered from one thread to another was Roy.  And recently, I learned the names of BBallTim and Celtics18 mainly because I kept seeing a pattern.  But even that I think is unfortunate, because now I have a bias every time one of those guys makes a point.  I'd rather just consider their observation/opinion without having preconceived notions of who is behind the comment. 

But really... I don't think it matters who you are behind the text.  Age/sex/race/etc.  If anything, it will just give people a bias.  And a thread like this just feels like Internet White Knighting to me.  Standing up for the poor girls who were harmed by a stupid joke.   Bad direction to go.

Andy, is that you?  I think that you just wanted to rassle one of those female posters.  ;)

Kiorrik

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We have topics where people that like to draw, talk to eachother and motivate eachother.

We have topics where people go to ask Edgar questions.

We have topics about people that love SQUIRRELS.

Going into any one of those topics to rant AGAINST these things is a dumb, insensitive thing to do. Sure it's LEGAL. But come on. Have some bloody decency and try not to obstruct other people's attempts to have a good time on here.

Empathy: get some.

Kiorrik

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As for the ladies: grow some skin. The dating thread joke might've been poor form, but it wasn't the end of the world. Ignore and continue. You don't listen to that drunk idiot hitting on you at a bar either.

Online RJ87

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As for the ladies: grow some skin. The dating thread joke might've been poor form, but it wasn't the end of the world. Ignore and continue. You don't listen to that drunk idiot hitting on you at a bar either.

Or we talking about all posts by certain users? Or just the corny gender related attempts at jokes? Because honestly....
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Offline Roy H.

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Lots of stuff to unpack here.

1.  This thread.  I know some folks felt singled out by this thread, and I understand why that rubbed them the wrong way.  I don't think it was meant to insult anybody, but rather to share a different point of view (and maybe attempt to educate others, which can naturally ruffle some feathers.)

I think conversations like this can be interesting, so long as they stay focused.  (More on that later).  It's infinitely better to start a new thread than it is to take a thread off-topic, which is what prompted the last moderator warning.  When there's a fairly trivial back-and-forth about something like the propriety of DL's original post, it's best to address it via PMs or, if it's a blog-wide issue, to bring it up in a new thread (civilly and neutrally);

2.  Threads about member characteristics.  I think these threads are interesting, personally.  I think it's cool to learn about other members.  I respect those posters who would prefer to keep others anonymous and/or who don't care about somebody's age/gender/occupation/etc.  However, those threads have a place on the blog (not that anybody said they don't).  I love knowing that Edgar is from El Salvador, or that tboots is a woman, or that IndeedProceed has a newborn.  It gives the blogging experience more color.  To each their own, though.

3.  Humor.  Jokes and irreverence are hard to moderate.   A lot of that stuff is "eye of the beholder" type of stuff.  The "online dating" joke can be taken two ways:  as a funny quip, or as hostile subtext. 

There's no clear way to draw a line, except in terms of jokes that are clearly crude, racist, etc.  Nobody wants a blog where others feel put down or not welcome.  At the same time, nobody wants a blog where every light-hearted joke is squashed.  So, we play it by ear, make our own interpretations, and see where the thread goes.

That said...  People should bring some substance to the conversation, too.  At some point, the joking detracts from the topic at hand, and starts to look like attention-seeking, or worse, trolling.  So, please keep an eye on that.

4.  The kitten story.  This is another one of those "eye of the beholder" things.  I thought that story was sort of endearing, and thought that it was meant to be welcoming.  I think there was some poor choices of language, but the moral of the story seemed to be "Sometimes assumptions about kittens / posters are wrong, but I love you anyway".  That said, it seems like the story was deeply offensive to some.  It's probably a good example that sometimes it's best to tread lightly in some areas.

5.  The "ignore the thread" vs. "it's my right to post" debate.  This is probably debated on a large number of internet message boards.  Generally, I think it's better to ignore threads where you're not adding anything to the particular discussion.  We have a rule that's touches on this:

Quote
Commenting in a thread or elsewhere on the site in a manner that is likely to provoke an angry response from others is not permitted.   Posters should appreciate that in many instances, commentary that would otherwise be appropriate may not be appropriate in a specific thread (i.e., bringing up rumors of alleged cocaine use by a beloved player in a tribute thread dedicated to the memory of that player, etc.)

Does that rule apply here?  My take on it is that DL was making a point about inclusiveness:  there's no need to single out posters based upon their gender (or any other characteristic) because it can lead to divisiveness.  A "judge a poster by the content of their posts, not by their gender".  That's not a controversial viewpoint; it's a pretty healthy one.  However, the delivery probably could have used some work, if for no other reason than the "no offense" line almost always leads to folks taking offense.  Live and learn.  The part that was disappointing was the bickering back and forth, and derailing the thread.

6.  The "white knight" stuff.  It's not cool to mock somebody just because they stand up for inclusiveness and because they ask for folks to be a little more considerate.  I don't think women are shrinking violets who need to be handled like delicate flowers, but they do deserve to feel welcomed and comfortable.

7.  Closing thoughts.  I feel bad that so much drama has been generated by this.  Sed522022 was just trying to find some folks that she had another thing in common with, and things quickly took a turn for the worse. 

Nobody on the staff wants to come down hard on people, but it's important that people obey CelticsBlog's golden rule "Respect each other at all times".


I'M THE SILVERBACK GORILLA IN THIS MOTHER——— AND DON'T NONE OF YA'LL EVER FORGET IT!@ 34 minutes

Offline dark_lord

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my invitation for people to pm is still on the table, since anyone that opposed my posts have yet to reach out.  i am happy to say tho, i had two female posters pm me that they appreciate and support my stance of looking at posters as posters and my interactions with them, rather that categorizing posters.  very cool, since others want to misinterpret and pile on me, even after i elaborated several times in a respectful and neutral manner(since people were "taken back" by my initial post)

to those posters that reached out to me, thank u, i appreciate the kind words

Offline LarBrd33

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For those I deeply offended with my kitten story.  Feel free to PM me so I can apologize to you directly. 

fitzhickey

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I think this is being taken a bit out of hand. It seemed light hearted to me

I take it back.  Usually I read these walls of texts in the voice of Patton Oswalt.  However, when Fitz talks... I read his walls of text in the voice of Patton Oswalt with an Australian accent.

For now on, I'm going to imagine everyone talking in the voice of Australian female Patton Oswalt.  It's the least I can do.
If you can, imagine a 15 year old Australian Patton Oswalt.

Offline LarBrd33

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I think this is being taken a bit out of hand. It seemed light hearted to me

I take it back.  Usually I read these walls of texts in the voice of Patton Oswalt.  However, when Fitz talks... I read his walls of text in the voice of Patton Oswalt with an Australian accent.

For now on, I'm going to imagine everyone talking in the voice of Australian female Patton Oswalt.  It's the least I can do.
If you can, imagine a 15 year old Australian Patton Oswalt.



Quick... someone photoshop teenaged Patton Oswalt riding a Kangaroo. 

Offline danglertx

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I can't believe we are a couple days from the trading deadline that might be the most important trading deadline for the Celtics in the next 10 to 20 years and my Latest Forum Topics has TWO posts on it about CB women bloggers. 

Isn't there a dead point in the year, perhaps the playoffs this year, where we can dedicate such space to such trivial Celtic matters?