Online Dating

[guava_wrench]

The whole online thing is just weird. Profiles are weird. Pictures are weird. The people are weird. It's sort of like in basketball, I guess, when the defense is leaving you open, it doesn't necessarily mean you should shoot. These women are available for a reason. I'm sure there's something wrong with 50% of them. Imagine meeting someone in person, and the first thing they started doing was bragging about how they have been to Mexico, Spain, Portugal, Somalia, and Australia. And then said "I work as a bank teller and I just love my job!"

It's so weird...

...how old are you?

I also think someone may be projecting about their own feelings about their jobs.  Maybe some people like being a bank teller?  And why would that bother you?  And what's wrong with travel?

Pretty jaded post.  I'm pretty picky with women and all but I don't blame any of them for being themselves or doing and saying what they feel.

I have to agree with you completely.

Mentioning you went abroad is 'bragging'. It is showing that you are interested in other cultures and don't want to date people who have never left the town the grew up in.

Often people using online dating are available because they were busy taking care of their career. The most likely reason is they dated guys in the past that just weren't worth making if permanent. There are a lot of tools out there.

[greg683x]

id like to echo what one other poster mentioned was when you find girls that are interested keep the online talk/texting short and get to the meet up.  Bc like they mentioned you get to know someone better in person, and the texting/emailing back and forth gets old after a while. 

Also, another thing that worked well for me, was when you do the initial meet up, I'd always do it on a week night and it would always be for 'just a drink'  Sounds kind of bland but  youve never met this person before and if you meet them and decide you never want to see them again for the rest of your life, you dont want to have to spend a whole friday or saturday night with them, or be at a baseball game with them or some other extravagant date you set up.  If it's just a drink, you can go, decide you dont like them, have said drink or two, maybe an appetizer and then leave 'because you have work tomorrow.'

I had countless girls tell me how they went on these initial meet ups with guys where they ended up stuck with someone the entire day that clearly lied on their profile, used a picture that was 5 years old and 30 lbs ago, etc.

It's awkward and different at first, but dont give up on it man

[dtrader]

 I agree with a lot of what's been written here so far.+ the biggest take away message (IMO) should be that the OP is NOT as big of a "catch" as he thinks he is, and that when you set your standards high you are less likely to reach them.

I know a ton of girl that are on or have been on online dating sites. A lot of them are gorgeous. I have high standards (ie Kim kardashian and scarlett johanssen are 9s), and a lot of my friends online are 8-8.5s.  They would NOT consider this guy a catch+ most likely would only respond if he came up with a legitimately funny message.  The girls that are most sought on dating sites are there hoping to meet a guy online that they haven't/couldn't meet in real life.  Physically, that means they are largely targeting 6'2" guys with 6 packs,  big arms, light eyes, and dimples.  Doesn't mean they won't like someone without that, but the same way guys have a 5'7" 36D or whatever ideal, that's what most girls have.  OP comes up short. Literally. 

A college education doesn't make you a catch (or mean you can get/keep a good job) nowadays. Maybe 30 years ago it did. But the top girls won't be impressed by that nowadays.   An impressive education is Ivy league.  If you don't have a prestigious school name or MBA, PhD, JD credential, your education isn't that attractive.

Having a car is great, but if it's just average or below, it's not winning you any dates. Expensive sports cars, restored muscle cars, lifted trucks, and motorcycles (not scooters lol) MAY each be attractive to certain girls, but they are only a foot in the door at best.  If your car (or any other physical possession) isn't very interesting, no one is going to be very interested. 

What girls are really looking for online (and the reason they talk about travel so much), is to get away from their everyday life.  If they were all really that happy, they wouldnt be online looking for a date, theyd be enjoying their happy lives as is.  The most attractive guy to them, is the ridiculously rich guy who has the money, boat, summer house etc. to take her somewhere any time he/she wants.  Next is maybe the interesting/passionate/rich business owner who can take her away on lavish  vacations in his time off.   Next is the guy who isn't rich, but is physically attractive enough to make her feel like she's in a more beautiful and exciting place when she looks at him.  Finally, you have the guy who isn't rich or a model, but is above average in each category and has travelled/experienced the world.  He's more interesting than anyone she's ever met, has a great story about everything, and she can dream about sharing stories like that with him in the future.  It's crucial for her to see that he's already been around the world once, cuz it shows he's a doer, while the other 99.9% of the guys she's ever met were all dreamers who just talked about wanting to go places while watching TV.  A girl who is a "catch" isn't likely to reach past these 4 groups because she's a catch and she doesn't have to.

That all doesn't go for everyone, but I think it goes for the vast majority of girls online+ even the ones who choose guys that aren't like that would like who they did choose even more if he had his own traits and some of that added on top.

[KGs Knee]

I agree with a lot of what's been written here so far.+ the biggest take away message (IMO) should be that the OP is NOT as big of a "catch" as he thinks he is, and that when you set your standards high you are less likely to reach them.

I know a ton of girl that are on or have been on online dating sites. A lot of them are gorgeous. I have high standards (ie Kim kardashian and scarlett johanssen are 9s), and a lot of my friends online are 8-8.5s.  They would NOT consider this guy a catch+ most likely would only respond if he came up with a legitimately funny message.  The girls that are most sought on dating sites are there hoping to meet a guy online that they haven't/couldn't meet in real life.  Physically, that means they are largely targeting 6'2" guys with 6 packs,  big arms, light eyes, and dimples.  Doesn't mean they won't like someone without that, but the same way guys have a 5'7" 36D or whatever ideal, that's what most girls have.  OP comes up short. Literally.

A college education doesn't make you a catch (or mean you can get/keep a good job) nowadays. Maybe 30 years ago it did. But the top girls won't be impressed by that nowadays.   An impressive education is Ivy league.  If you don't have a prestigious school name or MBA, PhD, JD credential, your education isn't that attractive.

Having a car is great, but if it's just average or below, it's not winning you any dates. Expensive sports cars, restored muscle cars, lifted trucks, and motorcycles (not scooters lol) MAY each be attractive to certain girls, but they are only a foot in the door at best.  If your car (or any other physical possession) isn't very interesting, no one is going to be very interested.

What girls are really looking for online (and the reason they talk about travel so much), is to get away from their everyday life.  If they were all really that happy, they wouldnt be online looking for a date, theyd be enjoying their happy lives as is.  The most attractive guy to them, is the ridiculously rich guy who has the money, boat, summer house etc. to take her somewhere any time he/she wants.  Next is maybe the interesting/passionate/rich business owner who can take her away on lavish  vacations in his time off.   Next is the guy who isn't rich, but is physically attractive enough to make her feel like she's in a more beautiful and exciting place when she looks at him.  Finally, you have the guy who isn't rich or a model, but is above average in each category and has travelled/experienced the world.  He's more interesting than anyone she's ever met, has a great story about everything, and she can dream about sharing stories like that with him in the future.  It's crucial for her to see that he's already been around the world once, cuz it shows he's a doer, while the other 99.9% of the guys she's ever met were all dreamers who just talked about wanting to go places while watching TV.  A girl who is a "catch" isn't likely to reach past these 4 groups because she's a catch and she doesn't have to.

That all doesn't go for everyone, but I think it goes for the vast majority of girls online+ even the ones who choose guys that aren't like that would like who they did choose even more if he had his own traits and some of that added on top.

http://www.youtube.com/v/G69jMPMOxWE?hl=en_US&version=3


I hope and doubt all girls online are like this.  Girls like what you describe ain't worth ish...  Avoid them like the plague.