I think she ultimately gave in, because she said something along the lines of the first time someone breaks in and takes your stuff, I'm calling a security company and getting the most expensive high end security system and you will never hear the end of it. She seemingly dropped the issue after that.
Just back from vacation and I’ve been dying to get in on this since I read it.
Roy is right…to a point.
Yes, it sounds reasonable but, unfortunately, reason doesn’t enter in to it.
This is far from over.
She may seem ok with it now, but this is eating away at her every time she walks by and sees your stuff offending her sense of order.
You just have to learn this important fact about women…
THOSE PEOPLE ARE DIFFERENT FROM US!
Once you accept that, you can understand what is REALLY going on and change your approach accordingly.
Start by listening for and deciphering the code.
Case in point…when she told you she wanted her kitchen back that is not what she meant. What she wanted was for you to get your crap out of her sight. When she says she has a security concern, it is not what she means. She still wants your crap out of her sight. Even though the odds are overwhelmingly in your favor that no one will break in and steal your cell phone, she will not be happy.
This will resurface and become even a bigger issue because you were not tuned in to what she wanted (and to some extent needed).
Other examples…have you ever been asked “Do you want to (whatever)? If you say “No thanks” you’ll soon realize it’s not really a question. She is really saying “I want you to (whatever)”
How about “Here’s the remote. Watch whatever you want” The unspoken part is “as long as it is something I want too.”
The good news is that you can still recover from this, although you will forever have lost points for not getting it right the first time.
As I see it, you have two choices:
a.Replace the desk with a roll-top desk. Keep the top closed to hide the mess. This is not the best choice because it involves getting rid of the desk she picked out and probably likes, and hoping you can find a roll-top she likes, or
b.Keeping the desk you know she likes. Buy some drawer organizers like these: http://www.bedbathandbeyond.com/product.asp?SKU=126990
Go to a fabric store and buy some felt and fabric glue to line them with.
Install a power strip under or on the back of the desk where it doesn’t show.
Drill a hole in the back of the drawer to run the wire for your charger.
You both get what you need/want but more importantly and she will appreciate the fact that you understand her.
A relationship involves give-and-take. Often that means you give and she takes, but sometimes you’re dealing with something that really matters to her but doesn’t so much matter to you. When that happens, there is no point in looking for the logic in why it matters so much. Just accept that it does, and give it up. The more you do this, the more you will be on the receiving end of that understanding when it matters more to you. When you both have a strong need/want, look for a solution that works for both of you so neither one feels slighted. There will be very few occasions when neither one will be happy giving in and you can’t find a good compromise. That’s when all the good will in the bank, which hasn’t been wasted on little stuff like this, gets you through.