Yeah, as angry as I am right now with some of the things being said, this is unessecary.
Their words alone "bash themselves".
Ok, here we go....
I can't dribble worth a rat's butt. I make tony Allen look like meadowlark lemon.
Shooting? Ha, I couldn't hit a bull in the butt with a handful of beans. Bad form. Terrible release, and don't even get me started about my efficiency rating.
Rebounds are impossible given that my arms would embarrass even a t-rex, I am closer to 4.5 feet than I am to 7 foot tall, and jumping ability... With these knees!?!? You should book a flight on a pig before you bet money I can round up a rebound.
Defense - my best bet is to simply tackle the other guy before he has a chance to start moving. I could do that 6 times a game.... Assuming my back doesn't give out after the first few times.
As for my trade value.... Maybe a NBA team would pay ainge to keep me away from them.
There. Is that enough self bashing to placate the cb gods for an evening?