These are the worst discussions.
We all benefit and are victim to our own heritage, family culture, the 'words of wisdom' of our elders and the media we favor (mostly as a result of the prior influences). I am not suggesting that none of us think for ourselves, I AM suggesting that we grow up learning and embedding biases and we then seek to confirm our biases throughout our lives. This is not to say that we can't learn, grow and change. But... with regard to the unceasing conflict and sometimes terror that those in and around Israel experience as a generational part of life -- something that is undoubtedly braided into the core of family and community culture on both sides, this is something we shouldn't even begin to think we can comprehend as Americans.
It is impossible for us, sitting in our safe homes with our computers, snacks, I-pods, and our 'first-world worries', to know anything real about 'who started it', 'who is to blame', 'who is unreasonable', 'who controls the media', or to know, with any semblance of validity, what is the solution.
We convine ourselves that the media is either correct or influenced by propaganda depending on our bias, and in the end, we don't know, we can't know, and it doesn't matter what we think.
If Jewish Americans and Palestinian (or Arab) Americans can't speak to each other without staunchly taking sides and/or being offended by the other's perspective, then how will those who actually experience the terror ever find peace. Let's start by admitting that both sides have been, and are, at fault and that endlessly seeking fault and laying blame is no different than searching for and justifying retaliation. And so it goes.