Gronk deserves his own thread now

[Eja117]

Best player on the Pats?  Yup.  Best player in the league? I'm thinking.

His agent is currently taking military bids from Russia, China, the US, Saudi Arabia, Israel, and North Korea and Cuba pooling resources as a darkhorse candidate in order to bring him in for their military cloning projects.

His agent is trying to get him into MMA but all the fighters are too afraid to go near him.  

The word "unstoppable" has been replaced in Webster's Dictionary by "Gronk".  

They need to test this kid. Blood, urine, stool, hair, sweat, tissue, and bone marrow. Something isn't right.

Fox is trying to set up a death match between him, a bear, and a wild boar, along with an anaconda for a twist, but PETA is protesting saying it isn't fair and there is no reason those animals should face such a horrid and pointless death.

Superman was interviewed after the game and remarked "I got nothing on him. Kryptonite doesn't slow him down. Are you kidding me?"

Scientists are trying to find a genetic link between him and Hercules and are zeroing in on either a direct genetic line, or just possible time travel.