Off Topic: Finally able to talk about this...

[Robb]

So a few years back, I was reading some really old column on ESPN.com.  The column was from like...the mid-late 90s and I found an archive of it--I'm 90% sure it was something by Dr. Jack Ramsay.  Anyway, while I was reading, I was just enjoying the layout of the page, because it was so different from what the site looks like now, it was just interesting to contrast what the site had become to what the site used to be.

That's all periphery and not entirely important.  The most important part of this story is the part I have only been able to talk about with one other person since I read that column.  My best friend and I were having one of those deep conversations that you have in a car driving late at night and I finally just blurted it out.  I had kept it unspoken and inside ever since that moment, and since then, I haven't said a word about it.

In the left column of the page, buried after the text of the column finished was a small, postage stamp sized graphic with a picture of a SportsCenter anchor we all know and the text "Win a date with Linda Cohn."

That thought and that image has haunted me ever since I saw it.  I couldn't watch SportsCenter when she was anchoring anymore, I honestly had to change the channel.  I moved to Korea since then (unrelated), and even now, when I watch highlights on ESPN.com, she'll pop up in them, and I can't watch.  I don't know why.  Something about that graphic, and that contest, destroyed a part of me. 

Just thinking about the context or the reason for that contest being run, I just feel all sorts of messed up inside.  It's not that I think Linda Cohn is an unattractive woman per se, but it's just that she's not attractive to me at all, if that makes sense.  And having a contest for a date with a non-attractive woman just seemed so sad.  I don't want to make any assumptions, because I think that would be really unfair and rude to Linda, but the entire process saddened me in ways that very few things have ever done.

I guess I'm writing this to get it off my chest.  I don't know what I hope to accomplish.  Maybe some people can laugh at it.  Maybe some people can relate to it with another situation.  Maybe someone even saw the same thing and thought about it.  I don't know.  I'm just saying.

[celticmaestro]

let me see if i got this right, you've been haunted by the prospect of winning a date with linda cohn?

this is really off topic and the whole post is quite disturbing. but this has clearly messed you up more than it perhaps should.

[Redz]

No worries.  She's taken

wow...for anyone who saw the image here I apologize...It was not what I had intended (it changed on me)

[Chief]

If it makes you feel any better, I hear she has 12 toes. Yep that's right, 6 on each foot. 

[tenn_smoothie]

we are fortunate to live in a time when many psychotropic medications are available to help people like you who are tortured by obscure, peripheral events in life.

just google pyschiatrichelp.com  ..............  good luck.

[MaineBleedsGreen]

hahahaha. I think what you need to do is force yourself to watch more and more linda cohn, until you realize that you CAN, handle it. Or even better trap yourself in an elevator with the Linda, where you'll be forced to confront your biggest fears.

[Robb]

let me see if i got this right, you've been haunted by the prospect of winning a date with linda cohn?

this is really off topic and the whole post is quite disturbing. but this has clearly messed you up more than it perhaps should.

No, I'm just messed up by what decisions have to be made and for what reasons they were made that allow a non-attractive woman to be in a "Win a date with..." contest.  I think the prize in a "win a date with" contest needs to be appealing, which I don't find Linda Cohn to be at all.  Plus the fact that it was such a small advertisement means they didn't REALLY want people to find out about it.

It feels like "Carrie" or something like that.  Like they were mocking her with the contest.

And yeah, I talked it up to be funny, but it still makes me feel bad. 

[TripleOT]

I could understand you being haunted all these years from "Win a Date with ROY Cohn."

[Roy Hobbs]

I think it would be awesome to go on a date with Linda Cohn.  She's probably got a lot to talk about (but as Redz says, I think she's married.)

Now, if anybody has an in with Shira Springer, let me know.

[Chief]

I think it would be awesome to go on a date with Linda Cohn.  She's probably got a lot to talk about (but as Redz says, I think she's married.)

Now, if anybody has an in with Shira Springer, let me know.

or Rachel Nichols!!!

[Redz]

I think it would be awesome to go on a date with Linda Cohn.  She's probably got a lot to talk about (but as Redz says, I think she's married.)

Now, if anybody has an in with Shira Springer, let me know.

Funny you should quote me on that one.  When I originally posted that I'd attached a picture of Linda being held in a baseball mascots arms.  When I checked back on the thread later, the image had changed to read "MEAN PEOPLE SUCK".  I guess it was some sort of image security thing!

[Roy Hobbs]

I think it would be awesome to go on a date with Linda Cohn.  She's probably got a lot to talk about (but as Redz says, I think she's married.)

Now, if anybody has an in with Shira Springer, let me know.

Funny you should quote me on that one.  When I originally posted that I'd attached a picture of Linda being held in a baseball mascots arms.  When I checked back on the thread later, the image had changed to read "MEAN PEOPLE SUCK".  I guess it was some sort of image security thing!

Haha.  Well, regardless of your intent, you were right.  She's married with two children.  Oh, and apparently she makes a mean macaroni and cheese:

Linda's Spring Training Macaroni & Cheese
1 lb macaroni cooked and drained, ziti is best
1 can condensed cream of mushroom soup
1 can condensed cheddar cheese soup
1 can evaporated milk
2 cups shredded cheese (can be mixture of cheeses)
Salt, pepper, garlic to taste

Topping:
Linda says, "For the topping I melt some butter in a skillet and add crushed crackers, whatever I have in the house, like Ritz, oyster crackers, etc., and add more seasoning to this as well. Cook until they turn brown and put over the top of the macaroni before you cook it.

In a large bowl mix the soups (DO NOT ADD WATER), evaporated milk, shredded cheese, and salt, pepper, & garlic. Add macaroni and stir well. Spoon into casserole dish and add cracker topping. Bake at 350 for about 20 minutes, until brown and bubbly.

I don't know if I'm feeling the mushroom soup, but don't knock it til you try it, I guess.

[Brendan]

This thread is more disturbing to me then the win a date with Lind Cohn is for you.

[Redz]

I think it would be awesome to go on a date with Linda Cohn.  She's probably got a lot to talk about (but as Redz says, I think she's married.)

Now, if anybody has an in with Shira Springer, let me know.

Funny you should quote me on that one.  When I originally posted that I'd attached a picture of Linda being held in a baseball mascots arms.  When I checked back on the thread later, the image had changed to read "MEAN PEOPLE SUCK".  I guess it was some sort of image security thing!

Haha.  Well, regardless of your intent, you were right.  She's married with two children.  Oh, and apparently she makes a mean macaroni and cheese:

Linda's Spring Training Macaroni & Cheese
1 lb macaroni cooked and drained, ziti is best
1 can condensed cream of mushroom soup
1 can condensed cheddar cheese soup
1 can evaporated milk
2 cups shredded cheese (can be mixture of cheeses)
Salt, pepper, garlic to taste

Topping:
Linda says, "For the topping I melt some butter in a skillet and add crushed crackers, whatever I have in the house, like Ritz, oyster crackers, etc., and add more seasoning to this as well. Cook until they turn brown and put over the top of the macaroni before you cook it.

In a large bowl mix the soups (DO NOT ADD WATER), evaporated milk, shredded cheese, and salt, pepper, & garlic. Add macaroni and stir well. Spoon into casserole dish and add cracker topping. Bake at 350 for about 20 minutes, until brown and bubbly.

I don't know if I'm feeling the mushroom soup, but don't knock it til you try it, I guess.

Yeh, that definitely lost me.  Sounds like Mac & Cheese caserole, instead of just Mac & Cheese.

[Steve Weinman]

Speechless.  But quite amused by the thread.  In a kinda weird way.  I don't know why, but TP, Robb.

-sw