Author Topic: The new G.I. Joe movie = super lame  (Read 8702 times)

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The new G.I. Joe movie = super lame
« on: May 08, 2008, 04:38:52 PM »

Offline Roy Hobbs

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My second favorite childhood cartoon was G.I. Joe; I absolutely loved it.  I even went so far as to buy all of the episodes of the show on dvd before they went out of production.  I was a little curious, then, to see what the new G.I. Joe movie that's currently in production was going to look like.

The results?  Terrible.  Horrific.  Pretty much the lamest looking characters I could imagine.

Here's some of the more prominent characters:

Destro (no mask?!):


Duke:


Heavy Duty:


Hawk:


Scarlett:


Snake Eyes:


And by far the lamest character design, Stormshadow:



And this guy (from Third Rock from the Sun) is playing Cobra Commander:



I don't know, maybe I'm too much of a traditionalist, but did they have to outfit all of G.I. Joe in black?  And did they have to give Storm Shadow coattails?  Or make Cobra Commander and Destro impossibly lame?  It's pretty stupid looking.

Or, there's this description from wikipedia:

Quote
Ten years in the future, the G.I. Joe team battles the evil Cobra Organization, run by a Scottish arms dealer. ... In terms of characterization, the focus will be on Scarlett and the Baroness's romantic lives

Oh, yeah.  And G.I. Joe is no longer American.  Instead, it's "A European-based military unit known as Global Integrated Joint Operating Entity (G.I.J.O.E.), a hi-tech, international force of special operatives."

I know, this is a nerdy post, and I take this stuff way too seriously, but I know a lot of you guys grew up with this too, so at least somebody has to be on the same page.

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Re: The new G.I. Joe movie = super lame
« Reply #1 on: May 08, 2008, 04:43:22 PM »

Offline wdleehi

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The Real American Hero, European? 



Kills my want to see the movie.


I will just have to watch this instead.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W6ueHzMwxt0

Re: The new G.I. Joe movie = super lame
« Reply #2 on: May 08, 2008, 04:44:18 PM »

Offline wdleehi

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Re: The new G.I. Joe movie = super lame
« Reply #3 on: May 08, 2008, 04:45:52 PM »

Offline Edgar

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I know, this is a nerdy post

dont be modest Roy.. ::)

And yes Cobra is lame. ;D
Snake eyes looks cool tough
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Re: The new G.I. Joe movie = super lame
« Reply #4 on: May 08, 2008, 04:48:50 PM »

Offline Onslaught

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Sienna Rose Miller as the Baroness
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Re: The new G.I. Joe movie = super lame
« Reply #5 on: May 08, 2008, 04:50:43 PM »

Offline Roy Hobbs

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I know, this is a nerdy post

dont be modest Roy.. ::)

And yes Cobra is lame. ;D
Snake eyes looks cool tough

Yeah, I don't have too much of an issue with Snake Eyes.  The rest of them suck, though.  And yes, I'm stuck in the 80s.

G.I. Joe is American, and doesn't wear black (except for Snake Eyes).  And Destro is supposed to kick ass.  That's just how it is. 

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Re: The new G.I. Joe movie = super lame
« Reply #6 on: May 08, 2008, 04:51:38 PM »

Offline Onslaught

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I'm a fan too but don't think you could ever make a good GI JOE movie if it was true to the Comic/Cartoon. But I do think that Snake Eyes looks like he's suppose to.
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Re: The new G.I. Joe movie = super lame
« Reply #7 on: May 08, 2008, 04:55:01 PM »

Offline Edgar

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I know, this is a nerdy post

dont be modest Roy.. ::)

And yes Cobra is lame. ;D
Snake eyes looks cool tough

Yeah, I don't have too much of an issue with Snake Eyes.  The rest of them suck, though.  And yes, I'm stuck in the 80s.

G.I. Joe is American, and doesn't wear black (except for Snake Eyes).  And Destro is supposed to kick ass.  That's just how it is. 

Arent we all?

destro should look like..

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Re: The new G.I. Joe movie = super lame
« Reply #8 on: May 08, 2008, 05:02:08 PM »

Offline bdm860

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Roy, I'm totally on the same page as you.  I LOVED GI Joe growing up, and just like you I've bought all the DVD's that came out, as well and bought all the comics a few years ago too (the comics actually tell a pretty good story for the most part, there are some lame stretches, but the comics gave me a combination of nostalgia and decent reading that kept me interested even as an adult, if you were a fan as a kid I would say the comics would still be a fun read as an adult).

A few weeks ago I was actually reading about the GI Joe Movie too, and was thinking about starting a thread here, but decided against it as my threads tend to die quickly.

Another thing (besides the corniness of some of the characters), was how can you have Heavy Duty but not Roadblock?  I always felt Roadblock was one of the main GI Joe characters.  (Per wikipedia "Common was offered the role of Heavy Duty's cousin Roadblock, although Bonaventura previously indicated Heavy Duty was being used in that character's stead.")

And how can you cast Marlon Wayans as Ripcord?  Ripcord was white!  I like Marlon Wayans as an actor, but GI Joe had such a diverse spread of ethnicities I feel this is completely unnecessary.  You can find another role for Marlon (although I don't think he would make a good Stalker, Roadblock, or Iceberg).  Is there going to be a white Quick Kick, or Asain Shipwreck too?

There is just so much potential for a GI Joe live action movie to be great, but so far I think the outlook is bleak.  I hope I'm eating my words though August 2009 when it's scheduled for release.

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Re: The new G.I. Joe movie = super lame
« Reply #9 on: May 08, 2008, 05:02:54 PM »

Offline fairweatherfan

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Well, I will say that Joseph Gordon-Levitt (Cobra Commander, 3rd Rock) has actually become a pretty good actor...go rent "Brick" and check him out in that.  Not sure how he'll do in that role though.  As for Destro - well, I'm hoping its one of those "accident/incident midway through movie transforms him from regular looking evil guy to chrome-faced madman".

Re: The new G.I. Joe movie = super lame
« Reply #10 on: May 08, 2008, 05:03:57 PM »

Offline Onslaught

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He could still have a mask in the movie. But you can't make a mask that looks just like the cartoon. That is unless you can find a metal that moves with his face and show emotions.

Cobra Commander should have a hood rather than the motor cycle helmet.
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Re: The new G.I. Joe movie = super lame
« Reply #11 on: May 08, 2008, 05:06:39 PM »

Offline Onslaught

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You guys can't complain too much about how people look. Some of them look correct for the most part. Look what they did to my beloved Transformers,  it can be worse.
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Re: The new G.I. Joe movie = super lame
« Reply #12 on: May 08, 2008, 05:08:39 PM »

Offline fairweatherfan

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Oh, and in hopes of cheering you up, Roy, I remember when the character designs for the first X-Men movie came out everyone was up in arms and it looked ridiculous - but that movie turned out pretty good in my opinion.

Re: The new G.I. Joe movie = super lame
« Reply #13 on: May 08, 2008, 05:17:35 PM »

Offline GroverTheClover

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The only way they can make this worse is if Michael Bay directs it...

Re: The new G.I. Joe movie = super lame
« Reply #14 on: May 08, 2008, 05:43:33 PM »

Offline dark_lord

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Snake Eyes:



do not sleep on this guy. he is played by ray park who was darth maul in star wars and toad in xmen.